Monday, April 11, 2005

Class Distinctions

I took a class at a local rubber stamp store today. Yeah. It was a single, fat, middle-aged woman thing to do, I know. But, I'm a single, fat, middle-aged woman. So, sure me.

The class was on making vintage-style cards. The truth of the matter is, learning and experimenting on my own, I already knew most of this stuff, but the class was beneficial to see and test drive some media with which I hadn't worked in the past. That was cool. I learned about this color wash spray that gives paper this mottled, aged look. I ended up buying a bottle of "terra cotta" to use.

I learned that the $1.99 tiny double-sided glue strip dispenser I bought was a piece of crap, and I was astounded to see all the women whip out these fucking enormous 3M Scotch adhesive tape dispensers to zap all their projects together. (James, this is what you needed for your mom's scrapbook project.) I suddenly felt underendowed, craftswise. All the women were like, "Oh, you're kidding? You don't have a Scotch ATG700? But how do you possibly do any scrapbooking or multi-layered cards?"

Oy vey! These bastards retail for like $50. (I have found one on eBay for $20, new. I may buy it.)

I was frustrated by the class, as the teacher is not particularly gifted in the art of, well... teaching. We had two hours allotted for the class. She had some kids' party to attend, so she whipped through the five card projects in one hour. I fought with my $1.99 glue tape dispenser throughout, finally dismantling it and throwing it away. I was always two or three steps behind the other ladies there, but I also wasn't following the directions completely. Some of the ladies wanted their cards to look EXACTLY like the teacher's examples. I didn't. I have very particular taste, and anyone who knows me understands that I did not develop the feminine cute chromosome or gene or whatever in utero. I tend to make stuff that's slightly more masculine-looking, or, at least, follow my own tune.

The very Florida Jewish grandmama sitting next to me kept wailing about trying to follow what I was doing because I was "doing it all wrong!" Welcome to my world, bubbaleh! In her defense, the unteacherly teacher defended me by trying to explain that no one had to completely match the sample and my creativity was a good thing. Bubbaleh, though, was having none of that. She seemed to think it was poor form on my part - especially when I was sitting next to her and she expected to be able to copy what I was doing.

I got tired of hearing her bitch about me diverting from the form and finally fixed her with such a withering stare that she stopped yammering about my work. She left class in a huff when the last card was to be stamped with a really cool, unconventional stone angel image. She was offended that "an overtly Christian image" was being used in the class. I silently cheered.

I doubt I'll be going to another class for a long time. It gave me faith in my own abilities and the knowledge that there's no right or wrong in this hobby. It's all about what you like. I just wanna see new stuff at work, so I know how to use it properly without my work becoming one big smear.

I think I'm going to make a postcard to send to postsecrets. If you haven't visited it, you should:

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