Monday, April 25, 2005

Genital Insecurity

I've just seen something that takes the concept of the "Penismobile" to a whole new level.

Picture this: new, silver Mercedes "sports coupe" style car, DC vanity plates, and testicles.

Yep. Testicles. Big, black testicles.

This car had a scrotum hanging from the back end, swinging in the wind, with a big pair nestled inside. As I was parked directly behind the "boys", I could not help but sit and stare for a while. Were they latex or leather? How does one affix a scrotum to a car?

This moment reminds me of something I heard Viggo Mortensen say in some interview once: "Always carry a camera with you. You never know what you might see." Not that I cling to every word of the wisdom of Viggo Mortensen (and it's not like it's advice that hasn't been given out for years by moms and insurance claims adjusters), but he's got something there. I have to start carrying the damn Nikon with me when I go out.

I am pleased to say that it was very easy to find car testicles via Google. I typed in "testicles for your car" et voilà!

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Bumper Nuts.

Aluminum. Huh. Go figure. (And, if you have suffered some sort of self-inflicted brain injury and want to buy a set, pass on the fleshtone ones, please. They're pretty nasty.)

1 comment:

Sasquatch said...

Ye gods. How sad...