Friday, August 26, 2005

Evidence of the Crime

Just remember, some of you asked for these. I was able to retrieve these from my old Diaryland blog. God forgive me. Feel free to click on them if you really want to see them as larger images. I take no responsibility if your head explodes, though.

Welcome to my nightmare...

Ladies and gentlemen, the hideous carpet. And George Bush.

It's even scarier in a close-up, isn't it?
(I wasn't lyin'...)

See? They really did knot my frizzies into my hair. And an Uzbek flag.

A very fuzzy picture of yours truly and the hideous carpet.
I'm not as scary as carpet. I swear.

The genuine article, frizzy hair and all.
Still not pretty, but at least 35% less scary than the woolen version.

And now, the nightmare is yours. I bequeath it to you. Enjoy.

Sleep well, li'l buckaroos!


suze said...

oh dear god, i don't think i could have imagined it to be that hideous.

you however, sell yourself short. 100% less scary than the carpet version. and pretty. really.

Anonymous said...

As usual, you are much more ATTRACTIVE than you give yourself credit for. I think you have a sparkling quality about you. It is very pretty and endearing.

The rug... well, it was an "interesting rendition". There is some, though rather abstract, resemblance. However, I am a portrait artist myself, and naturally I think I could have done better - arrogant artist that I am!

But the "sentimentalist" in me is touched that someone cared enough to make such a tribute to you. This was a grateful man.

I hope at some point in my life that I leave such a positive impression on someone...

But then, I hope will all my heart, that they don't leave my impression permanently on something such as a rug! LOL!

This is one of greatest stories yet. Thank you.


Anonymous said...

It's really moving that he would do this for you. Is it common for people to have portrait rugs made for their benefactors... or did you friend think of it on his own?

But I can imagine the horror of standing there as the rug is unfurled, and seeing my own woolen face looking back at me in a giant rendition of some hated snapshot. I love the frizzies that were so lovingly done.

You yourself are of course gorgeous! But oh gosh, that rug...

even so, if it were mine I couldn't imagine parting with it, just for sentimental value (not to mention shock value)

Anonymous said...


that is breathtaking.

that much said...

do NOT, under any circumstances, get rid of this object. it may seem like the thing to do now, and you may make some cash from it and assuage some short-term financial woe - but i promise you, the value of this thing in your life - both from the story of how it came to be, as well as the ongoing drama it provides cannot be underestimated.

trust me, few people have something so unique - both in terms of the experience and the souvenir - in their lives.

learn to love it - because although it bears absolutely no resemblance to the lovely person (and great raconteur) i see in the photos, i have to agree with sjl - it really does mean that you made a profound impression in someone's life.

i just can't shake the feeling that this means something beyond the mere physcal object.

wow. just... wow.


Anonymous said...

To Javi:

Hey, good to see you here. Raconteur was the perfect word I was looking for to describe Merujo... you truly are the master of words :)

... and I thought you were dispensing with those pesky periods in sentences??? Hhhmmm?


Merujo said...

Well, gosh. Maybe I do need to keep it, after all. I've just seen the eyesore side of it all this time. It is sort of the ultimate vanity kitsch...

But where the hell do I put it???

Anonymous said...

I think I see the face of Jesus in the frizz. That ought to be worth a couple thousand on ebay. That carpet doesn't look like the you standing behind it, holding it up. You're much more attractive.


paulnojustpaul said...

Thug two: yeah!

Agree with what everyone's said, I remember when you first showed me that pic too. SJL & Javi have a great point, it's not so much how inaccurate an impression of you it is, it's a powerful & moving gesture that you positively affected someone's life so much that they went to this effort.

The rest of us who you positively affect every day are just lazy b@stards in comparison. ;-)

And you are, as the others said, way more attractive!

Following on from Suze' comment, maybe you could have some business cards made up?

Merujo (not her real name)
Writer, and beautiful person extraordinaire.
100% less scary than the carpet version.

Hey maybe that could be your tagline for your radio spots?

I know I know "Just back slowly away from the keyboard, Baily, and no-one has to get hurt..." ;-)

Anonymous said...

LOL! @ Paul:

"Merujo (not her real name)
Writer, and beautiful person extraordinaire.
100% less scary than the carpet version."

That was priceless, mate.

(One of the lazier supporters of Merujo)

Merujo said...

Ahhh, Paul. I haven't heard from the Thugs in such a long time! That brings me back to Ye Olde Days on Alloy. (The Golden Age of Wireless, indeed.) ;-)

Anonymous said...

you know, it might not be so bad if it weren't so well big? Sort of like you'd expect it for Elvis or something no?

Anyway...I suppose it's the thought that counts. Really I'm a a loss here...

Merujo said...

It's pretty twisted, no?