Tuesday, August 30, 2005

How low can you go?

A new low today:

A major nonprofit called to ask if I'd be willing to work for them at a wage that would guarantee my move to a closet bedroom in a Mount Pleasant group house. Or a cardboard box. No thanks. I'm getting too old to do the "hey, which one of you guys stole my Ramen noodles?" thing.

Plus, a magazine to which I'd pitched some story ideas managed to lose my submissions. Errrrg. So, I've sent them again today. Maybe they "lost" them on purpose.

To celebrate my lack of worth on the Washington job market, I sent in a bunch of greeting card text submissions to Blue Mountain Cards. You know the company - e-cards for every occasion. I'm sure you've all received more than one Blue Mountain card in your life. Apparently, it's a pretty good business. Would you believe they pay $300 a card to their freelancers? That's not bad for a few minutes' work.

Of course, I have no idea if any of my 15 ideas will pass muster. I wanted to send some really tasteless items, but I thought better of it. Maybe I should start my own line of e-cards. Evil Thoughts and Unpleasant Wishes by Merujo.

Evil thoughts are always floating around my skull...
And I've had little luck using my powers for good...
So, why not?

I could cover all those difficult issues from which Hallmark tends to shy away:

On the accidental transmission of a venereal disease:
Sorry I gave you herpes

I only meant to please
You can tell everyone it's my fault
So they won't think that you are a skeez

On hating your SO's beloved pet:
Dearest love, I hate your dog
To the pound I'd like to send Rex
I hate his drool and him humping my leg
And then watching us when we have sex

Okay, so they need work. It's the thought that counts, right?

I'll keep working on those...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


Somehow, I think your idea of these sort of "off the wall" cards could be a potential hit. You must investigate the idea thoroughly.

There are so many things that are said so much "easier" with a card... I really think you are on to something :)