For every bitter cranky old maid like me out here, there seem to be at least ten Happy Mommies blogging away. I have no problem with this. In fact, I am envious of the Happy Blogging Mommies. I'm nearly 40, and the likelihood that I will ever know what it's like to try to keep a toddler calm and happy or have need to shop for bulk diapers at Costco is fairly minimal. I have to admit that I (foolishly, apparently) always figured I would be married and have at least one kidlet in my life. However, the fact that I cannot keep a plant alive in my apartment (or stay employed or remember to grocery shop or do laundry or get a boyfriend) is pretty compelling evidence that I wasn't cut out for a parenting role. (One of my sisters once said our gay brother would make a much better mom that I ever would. Ouch. That's stayed with me for a long time now.)
Yet, when I read the Happy Mommy (or Daddy) blogs, I really feel that I'm missing something great. Something amazing. And, I suppose it's pretty normal for a woman of my age to feel that I've lost out on something I should have experienced.
There are blogs that catalogue the small, yet astounding discoveries made by tiny kidlets each and every day. There are photoblogs that kill me with gorgeous pics of saucer-eyed babies, covered in food and goop and sporting loopy grins. (I love loopy baby grins almost as much as I love giant, hearty baby chuckles - laughter that, if emitted by an adult might signify something evil or demented, but from a baby is pure delight.)
It's nice to see other people enjoying the normal patterns of life - love, marriage, family, etc. - but it does make me feel pretty empty sometimes. And while it's cool to see what my friends and family have produced, I wonder if they know just how jealous I really am. Maybe Happy Mommy blogs should come with a warning: Will make spinsters feel isolated, empty, unfulfilled, and unloved!
On the other hand, maybe I just need a dose of Daily Rotten or Fark to slap some sense into me. If I can't keep a fern alive for long, what would I do with a baby?
They don't make Jobe's Baby Food Spikes, do they?
And, dear god, just where would you stick them???