Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Every Single Day's a Holiday for the Florists from Hell!

The lovely Gina left me a comment re: 1-800-flowers.com that got me thinking. Gina said that "everyday is a holiday" for the fine people at 1-800-flowers.com. Indeed, I think she's got something there.

Which led me to start thinking about special arrangements they could add to their website, like:

The Bris Bouquet: celebrate a fresh cut organ with some fresh cut orchids!

The Colon Lilly Corsage: there's nothing like a lovely calla lilly spray on your lapel to say, "Hey, world! I just had a colonoscopy, and my pipes are clean!"

The Van Gogh: A brilliant blue vase full of sunflowers with a boxed chocolate ear is the perfect way to say, "I'm insanely in love with you! No, really. I think I am insane."

Okay, you guys are next - what other special occasion arrangements should our time travelin' florists add? Extra points for creativity and tastelessness. I think I've started us in that direction, for sure...


alwswrite said...

the dandelion 'stalker' bouquet: "No matter how many times you try to drive me away, I'll never leave you. Ever."

blue-tipped 'morning after' carnations: "Cheap flowers for a cheap slut: Thanks for the booty call, baby."

(what, did I go too far?)

Merujo said...

Beautiful. You are a scholar, madame!

Vecordious One said...

These were just too freaking funny...

I actually had to call people over and read those last two Merjo posts out loud to them.

My stomache hurts from laughing...

AlwaysWrite... my hat is off to you! Your two entries are very memorable.


gina said...

OMG-- you are so sick! Must be what keeps bringing me back.

And Alwayswrite -- love the stalker bouquet

If only I knew more about flowers -- I'm horticulturaly disabled.

Thanks for the plug!