Sunday, April 30, 2006

Things good and bad

And tense. Don't forget tense!

By Friday, all will be Mostly Good. But until then...

I have a busy week coming up. Work will be fraught with stress thanks to deadlines, large events, and more deadlines.

I still have this lingering "kennel cough" I picked up on the plane back from San Francisco, and I need to be rid of it by next Saturday when the wonderfully fun weekend of Dolby-Fest 2006 starts at Rams Head in Annapolis. I refuse to be the annoying person in the audience hacking up a lung and irritating the crap out of everyone at the gig. Of course, even if I am still coughing, I will not be as annoying as the one idiot who will be yelling "SCIENCE!" all evening, or the couple who, invariably, will show up to play deep throat tonsil hockey at a front row table, despite having paid $33 a pop to listen to the music.

Man, am I ever irritable and cranky today, eh? I need some caffeine and a little sugar, I'm betting.

I will cut myself a little slack. One of my brothers, whose health is fragile, had a pacemaker put in at the end of last week. He did not tolerate the procedure well. I keep thinking about that.

I snapped at a woman in traffic today. She *did* deserve it, frankly. But I think the Sasquatch might be right, and I could have toned it down a little. Let me paint you the picture: suburban mom, probably around 40. Mini van, two kids in back. She's exceeding the speed limit and swerving.

Why?

She was cutting paper and gluing pictures as she drove. That's right folks, she was freaking scrapbooking behind the wheel of her car! Look, someone wants to kill themselves behind the wheel, fine. But she had two kids in there, plus all the rest of us. I honked at her, got next to her at a light and did the "shame on you" hand gesture. She tossed the scrapbook in the passenger seat, but she still had her little red adhesive tape roller in her right hand and little edging shears in her left. Her window came down and she giggled, saying, "Sorry, I'm in a hurry. Hee hee."


Here's where I may have gone a bit too far, since she did have kids in the car. I said, "You're a fucking idiot." And I said it loudly.

She put down her adhesive roller and started to cry. The light changed, and I drove away. Yes, as the Sasquatch later pointed out to me, it was pretty harsh for me to call her a "fucking idiot." But, frankly, she was a Fucking Idiot. She was doing crafts while driving 50+ mph down a busy road with two children in her car. Kids deserve a mom behind the wheel who isn't trying to glue a picture of Jimmy Joe Bob's graduation into a scrapbook at the same time she is accelerating and decelerating. Color me a jerk, but that's my take on it.

Scrapbooks don't kill people; people kill people...

Unless that scrapbook is a ransom, and the kidnappers are going to kill someone if that BBQ page isn't finished by noon, you save the crafts for home. And I'm speaking as someone who owns a couple of shelves of rubber stamps and funky paper.

I dunno. Maybe getting hit by that car has made me a little more edgy about stuff like this, but, c'mon people! Just a little common sense would be nice, no?

Cranky chick signing off.

12 comments:

Loracs said...

I'm not so sure it was too rough on her. She and those kids might just be alive because you DID call her a "fucking idiot."

She knew she was wrong, hence throwing down the book and smiling when you "shamed" her. And then, when a stranger took the time to point out just how stupid she was putting everyone in danger for a scrapbook, I think that was one of those moments when you slap yourself upside your own head as you call yourself a "fucking idiot." Tears might have been tears of relief as she realized how close she came to possibly hurting/killing her children.

Hope your cough goes away soon and that you have a crazy fun weekend of Dolby-Fest!

Gwen said...

Nope, can't think of a single reason why she would be needing to scrapbook and drive. You were right on the nose with "fucking idiot."

You may have been the wake up call she needed.

Merijo for the greater good...saving children from scrapbooking mothers. Where will she turn up next?

Sudiegirl said...

I agree with loracs. I've done some risky things while driving, but not SCRAPBOOKING!!!! My god!

The proper method of scrapbooking is when you're home, by yourself, in a cruddy old t-shirt and sweats, watching trashy TV at the same time.

But seriously, you were not in the wrong. Not by a long shot!

Sudiegirl

Marki said...

I have to agree that you did the world a favor with that woman. I can't stand stupid people...I just have zero tolerance.

Too bad there's not a little more chlorine in the gene pool.

Scholiast said...

It was probably homework for the kids and it needed to be done before they arrived at wherever they were going to.

Which isn't an excuse.

And which only underlines why I'll be working mainly from home starting August, when all kids will be in school and have homework like scrapbookcreating..

BTW, she deserved everything you did & said . . .

always write said...

Whatever color you are, you can color me the same color, 'cause I probably would have done the same thing. Or I might have pulled out my cellphone and told her I was calling the police. What a dumbass.

nurseatty said...

Ricola
For the cough, if it does not go away. I was at Carnegie Hall, NYC last week and they have dispensers of individually wrapped Ricola free for the taking by the theatre entry doors.
How are you after being struck by the cell phone driver?

suze said...

not to harsh at all. i don't really understand the impulse to scrapbook, and certainly not whilst driving a car!

Spencer said...

The problem is is that she's putting her children and other drivers lives in danger and you're worrying about hurting her feelings. You shouldn't.

Fuck her feelings. She is a fucking idiot.

Washington Cube said...

I agree with Always. Threaten her with the police....ANYTHING to get her to never do it again. One day I had just left my street to drive to work, and a woman with child came roaring over the hill, broadsided my car on the driver's side, totalled my car and landed me in the hospital. Her excuse? She was running late getting her child to school. It's stories like this, I mean..SCRAPBOOKING WHILE DRIVING? that make me want to scream. Who cares if she killed herself. The horror is she could have taken you out.

murison said...

"Fucking idiot"? Let's see now. She has kids: "fucking", check. She is an overachiever in the moron department: "idiot", check. Yep, it's true: she is indeed a FUCKING IDIOT. Were you too harsh? Of course not.

Beth in Colorado said...

OK, I've seen lots of data on the effect of cell phone use on driving performance (as I recall, the equivalent of several drinks) - but I am quite sure I have never seen any studies done on the effect of scrapbooking on driving performance.

Hmmm...I may feel a grant application coming on...