Sunday, June 24, 2007

24.... with Merujo

This conversation actually happened between 3:05 and 3:07 p.m. today...

Me (waiting for unfamiliar young studly dude to pull laundry out of the dryer)...
Dude: "Uh, you waiting to use this?"
Me: "Yeppers."
Dude: (pulls laundry from dryer, starts to walk out of laundry room with armful of clothes)
Me: "Excuse me. You forgot to clean out your lint."
Dude: (laughing) "You're kidding, right? I'm a guest here. You can get that for me."
Me: "Uh, no, buddy. I don't think so. That's not just fabric fuzz, you know. It's also your dead skin and hair. You can remove it yourself. I don't work here, hon."
Dude: "I doubt it's my hair. I wash and comb my hair, lady. Anyway, I'm clean. Have a nice day."
Me: "Uh, no, bubba. I'm not talking about the brushable hair on your head. I have no interest in handling your butt and nut hair. Clean it out now."
Dude: "I don't know why this pisses you off so much. So it's got hair in it. It's laundered hair! It's clean."
Me: "It's laundered nut hair. And unless I'm married to you or paid to wash your clothes, I have no obligation to handle your butt and nut hair. Clean it out."
Dude: "I'm gonna tell my friend her neighbor is a bitch." (Returns to clean out what I'm uncharitably going to think of as "butt and nut hair" from now own.)
Me: "That would be fine. Be sure to tell her the bitch is Merujo in Apartment X. You know, the building security representative? And tell her to have a great day and that she might want to escort her visitors to the laundry room in future."
Dude: "..." (leaves, slamming door behind him.)
Dude: (from hallway) "Oh fuck."

But apparently, he has the cleanest nut hair in the county.

J'aime la "vie d'appartement!"

And God bless us everyone.


Heather Meadows said...

ROFL XD Butt and nut hair, indeed.

You know, it never would have occurred to me that the lint trap would have that sort of thing in it. Then again, I haven't used a communal laundry in quite some time. When we got our first apartment we rented a washer and dryer from the rental company (we were on the third floor with no elevator, and I didn't feel like lugging all our laundry up and down), and when we had to move here after the fire we bought our own. I used the apartment laundry at the old place once, when the machines we were renting were being serviced. Before that, the last time I had used a public-use laundry was in my first year of college (1996-97).

I'm starting to feel like a little fairy princess now...

AM said...

You are my hero for standing your ground like this. Also, now I remember why I've never lived in an apartment building with communal laundry facilities.

Janet Kincaid said...

Good for you for standing up to this jerk! You ROCK, Merujo!!

Cyn said...

Butt & Nut Hair -- a delicious new high-fiber breakfast cereal!

Anonymous said...

Man - I never thought about the components of lint (until I lived with two cats).

Is it me, or do industrial dryers lack a lint trap? Otherwise I've never cleaned one after using it.

(Mind you - I've owned a house for 5 years, so it doesn't matter now.)