Well, I wasn't planning on posting, but I'm wide awake at 1:30 in the morning. I was hit with sudden, stunningly bad back pain this afternoon, almost out of the blue. In recent days, my back has been cooperating with me, which has been fantastic. I know some of my friends out here have experienced wretched back problems, too, and they know how blissful it is when the pain stops.
That's the way it's been for me for a handful of days. But the pain has been creeping back. Tonight, it traveled back down through my hip to my knee again, just like the first days after I messed it up. I found I was comfortable in my car, so I didn't go straight home after work. I stopped at Wendy's for my high class, high fiber buck-ninety-nine chili dinner. Yeah, it's the good life, ladies and gents. Fine dining each and every day!
Stopping at Wendy's was a big mistake. You see, sitting in the parking lot - the same one where I saw people making the beast with two backs relatively recently - I was attacked by a squirrel.
Yeah, I'm not shitting you.
I was attacked by a freaking squirrel. One minute, I'm reading about the Simpsons movie in my new issue of EW, enjoying a spoonful of beefy, beany flavor, and BAM - muthafuckin' squirrel launches itself from the pavement, up and through the window onto my chest. I'm screaming like a little girl, chili is flying all over creation, and the bastard is clinging onto my shirt. I had to pull my shirt up almost completely off me to get the squirrel back outside. I'm screaming and slamming my shirt against the car. Finally, Rocket J. Freaking Nutjob Squirrel hits the pavement. He tried repeatedly to get back inside.
Apparently, he's got a thing for Wendy's chili.
Or Coke Zero.
My hands were shaking like leaves. I'm trying to pull my shirt back on (very attractive in a parking lot - of course this parking lot has seen a lot of that before, I think) and get the key turned to roll the auto windows back up, and this flipping freak of nature is chattering and shrieking and working his best to get back inside. I finally had to wing my drink at him to get him to back off.
Funny thing is, I've been working on a radio piece about the local wildlife.
I called the Sasquatch as I shakily drove home to de-chili-fy myself (and my car.) "Hey, I think I have an ending to that radio piece."
Okay, my back is a little less painful now. I'm gonna try to get some more sleep. I don't want to be a total toad at work in the morning.
More coherent blogging in a few days, folks. I promise.