Saturday, August 18, 2007

A Public Service Announcement

Dear Republicans:

Please, please, please... whatever you do, don't nominate Vigo the Carpathian...


Vigo the Destroyer...

Vigo the Cruel...

Vigo the Torturer...


Vigo the Actor Named Fred Thompson... for president.

Okay?

Please?

Yeah, I know Thompson didn't really play Vigo in Ghostbusters II. That was the late actor Wilhelm von Homburg. But every single time I see good ol' Freddie boy and hear his frighteningly right wing plans for America, Vigo is the first thing that comes to mind.


The resemblance is uncanny, no?

Thompson is so conservative, he makes a burqa seem fashion forward. If elected, he will do his utmost to make abortion illegal and push for a constitutional amendment to keep states from having to recognize other states' gay marriages. Jackass.

You know what troubles me? The possibility that millions of TNT-rerun-addicted Americans will see his face and think, "Wow. He's the District Attorney on Law & Order. He will protect us and take care of us and love us and tuck us in at night." I worry about this because we're the same country that loves Paris Fucking Hilton and American Idol and elected George Bush. A second time.

This shit keeps me awake at night.

Where are Egon, Ray, and Peter Venkman when you need them? Seriously, there must be some sort of containment unit to keep the ever-creeping fascism and brain-sucked apathy from taking over.

Right?

Right??

Please???

Dear god, who are we gonna call?

5 comments:

Heather Meadows said...

Fred Thompson is a nutcase.

Loracs said...

We can only hope his campaign implodes before it gets beyond the "exploration stage" he's in now. The day he actually takes out papers to run will be a very scary day indeed.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

It's depressing, isn't it. Although, I think the chances of Mitt Romney winning the nomination and being elected are far better than Freddie. What would be scary is if Romney chose Thompson as his vice president. Too, too scary to contemplate.

Chuck said...

Wow, that is a scary resemblance. One of my former CEO's looked like Jack Nicholson except he was bald...this is kind of the same effect.

Shafa said...

That resemblance is unreal. I showed my folks. They were scared.