Monday, September 03, 2007

Written at 2:30 a.m.

I'll give you the punchline first -- these guys did it on and off until 4-something this morning. I finally fell asleep around 5 a.m. Here were my thoughts at 2:30 this morning:

Oh... mah... GAWD! There isn't a white noise machine powerful enough in this whole universe to save me from the terrifying sounds of the marathon sex session still going on upstairs. I don't know how many cans of Red Bull (or how much crack) Angry Indian Doctor and Mrs. Angry Indian Doctor must have consumed to fuel this tantric lovefest, but dear God, MAKE IT STOP!!!

There are just so many episodes of "Flip This House" any one human can watch in the middle of the night. I feel like I need a set of those wireless headphones for the TV/stereo so I can consider falling asleep without hearing barking, grunting, and their headboard banging against the wall. It sounds like pit bulls attacking a teacup poodle on top of loose boards.

Well... at least VH1 Classic is running some great stuff I haven't seen in a gazillion years, like The Specials singing "A Message to You Rudy" (they all look like they're twelve and have starved themselves while being stretched on a rack to fit into all those super skinny clothes) and Morrissey making me swoon with "Sing Your Life."

But, really, I'd just like some shuteye. I worked today, and my brain is fried. But as long as the genital funpark is open upstairs, I'm the one who's really screwed.

Right now, I'd give just about anything to live in a soulless concrete highrise with enough slabs between units to render it silent. That sounds fantastic right now.

Anyone up for a board game?


Heather Meadows said...

But as long as the genital funpark is open upstairs, I'm the one who's really screwed.

Hahahaha, that's fabulous!

ANI said...

when i lived in Texas, the occupants of the apartment next door engaged in some LOUD sex. the sound was mostly transferred over the air vents.

for a long time i thought the woman made the weirdest noises when she...umm...finished.

then i saw her walk the dog one morning. small, yippy dog.

from then on, it was heard clearly - the dog was quite concerned for her owner, and barked/yapped/whatever in high-pitched tones as the marathon sex sessions drew to an...end.

i am sorry you have to live adjacent to the genital funpark...

Chuck said...

Would you like to play a game of chess?

Your situation is why I've always insisted on an upstairs (top level) apartment. Although my last one in this complex could still be noisy because the air conditioning units were right over my head. New place is a lot quieter.