Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Hey, don't look now...

...but there goes the pope in his papal white and his Prada shoes!

(wrote this yesterday, but fell asleep and forgot to post it...)

Fox 5 has just broken away from their usual afternoon fare of Judge This, That, and the Other One and Baby Daddy DNA broadcasting to show the arrival of Il Papa at Andrews Air Force Base. As a lapsed Catholic who has serious issues with the Church, I really don't have much at stake in the Holy Father visiting DC, except for how it might affect traffic. Genuinely, I would have more respect for him if his first act as Supreme Pontiff had been to order mandatory counseling for all priests and toss every child molester from the ranks worldwide in the wake of the waves of sex abuse revelations.

But that didn't happen.

And here he is. The pope is in white from head to toe --- nope. He's in white down to his ankles, but his booties are these incredibly garish red Prada numbers. Yikes! I know it's a nod to the old papal red vestments, but whooo-wee, thems some homely expensive shoes!

Dubya and family are there to greet him - I can only imagine, since he calls Putin "Pootie-Poot", Bush is probably greeting the pope as "Benny" right now. "Heya, there, Benny! We all wanna welcome y'all to our fine li'l city! Heh heh heh. You live in Rome, right? Didja watch 'Rome' on HBO? Man, there sure was a lot of nekkid folks in that show, heh heh heh... I liked them centurians. THIRTEEN! WHOOOOO! Heh heh heh. We got hot dogs and kraut waitin' at the White House for ya. They're all beef, 'cause y'all don't eat pork, right? Oh, heck - yer German, maybe I shouldn't have said 'kraut' - sorry, Benny! Heh heh heh..."

The closest I imagine I will ever get to the pope (other than when he's three blocks down the street tomorrow) is this:

Yes, kids, it's "Pope Soap on a Rope"! I remember someone selling a similar version when John Paul II came to the 'States eons ago. Totally tacky and tasteless, yet, I cannot help but wonder if it might wash away my sins - if not the sins of the world.


The commute into DC is anticipated to be hellish over the next two days. Oh, what joy!

Update today: the Sasquatch just saw him roll past in the Popemobile on Pennsylvania Avenue.

Honestly - and I know I'll offend someone with this - considering all the sex scandals with the Church, I think this might be more appropriate transportation for the time being:


Sudiegirl said...

Da Weeniemobile!

Me loves it.

I can has cheesburger?

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Not that this really matters, but Good Morning America reports that the Pope's Pradas are really handmade slippers from a cobbler in a little alpine village in Bavaria. Personally, it sounds like PR prattle to me...

I wanna Pope-on-a-Rope. Is that like dope-on-a-rope? Oh, no, wait. That's my parents' dachshund. Never mind.

Cyn said...

If I were wealthier, I have a feeling my entire home would be filled up with crap like Pope-on-a-Rope. It just makes me laugh, although I doubt I could bear to actually wash with the pontiff. That just seems wrong.

This also explains the "Popecorn" (popcorn in mason jar adorned with a picture of Pope...um...I guess John Paul) that's been sitting in my various pantries ever since my parents gave it to me many, many moons ago. I have no use for it, it's far too old to eat, but I can't bear to part with it.

Anyway, I'm with you on the Weinermobile! In fact, why limit it to the Pope? All the presidential candidates should be stumping from a Weinermobile too.