Comments on Church of the Big Sky: I really do know better...

Wow - that was a seriously misguided clerk there. ...

2008-05-12T21:48:00.000-04:00

Wow - that was a seriously misguided clerk there. Or something. I want to think it was a language/cultural miscalculation and not as coldly blunt as it came out. Or maybe she was just mourning her own particular situation and dragged you into it in some sort of awful attempt at comradery. Maybe I'm being too kind.

Being a mother changes you...but then again it's not necessarily always in the best way ;-) We all mourn the might-have-been in some sense or another. In my case, children haven't made me feel a better woman, just pointed out how completely I suck at domesticity. If I were a non-parental member of society I might have been able to hide that entire subgroup of flaws.

I'm just aiming for kids that don't turn out to be serial killers or junkies, and I certainly don't need a medal for that. Although breakfast in bed once a year is pretty darn sweet.

Anyway, I can only imagine the ache of missing your mother on a day when that absence is waved in your face repeatedly. And by 7-11 clerks, no less.

I sometimes wonder what the future holds for me in...

2008-05-12T19:24:00.000-04:00

I sometimes wonder what the future holds for me in the parenting regard. I haven't been in any type of a relationship for years, and although I do like kids, I wonder if I'll ever have any of my own. But I like being single also, and I like my time alone. I have good friends (of both sexes) and if I'm destined to stay single, I have no problem with it.

Hey, at least you weren't attacked by a mutant squirrel in the parking lot, right?

You know damn well that I love you and I am not th...

2008-05-12T17:15:00.000-04:00

You know damn well that I love you and I am not the only one. Considering I'm older than you, I'll probably kick the bucket before you do but if you did, I would mourn the HELL out of you!

Why is it that those of us who have chosen not to have children are considered freaks? I had a friend who said it made no sense that you had to have a license to operate a motorcycle but you could willy-nilly have kids anytime you wanted! (sigh)

I know how you feel, kid...at church, they had a b...

2008-05-12T13:56:00.000-04:00

I know how you feel, kid...at church, they had a big Mother's Day sermon and it was hard to swallow even though they talked about mothers in spirit as well as the regular types of moms.

My heart's with you. As my mom says, "You can't make other people do what you want", and I know I would miss you when you leave this mortal coil.

There are people who think they can say any thing ...

2008-05-11T16:06:00.000-04:00

There are people who think they can say any thing to any body. This has to stop! After an incident like this, I often feel like saying to the person "Some thoughts can be left unexpressed."

You really must avoid that 7-11. But you get some great posts out of it!

I can identify with your pain. In church this mor...

2008-05-11T13:12:00.000-04:00

I can identify with your pain. In church this morning, the minister asked the mothers to stand up and be acknowledged. There I sat with the men and children applauding virtually every other woman in the room.

Last year I went to brunch with a couple friends- it happened to be on Mother's Day and the waiter said to me "Happy Mother's Day". Huh? I'm not a mom- why are you assuming I am?

I think whether we make the conscious decision to not have children or it's just circumstance, I think the grieving process lasts a very long time.