Friday, May 06, 2005

If anyone happens to talk to April Winchell...

...could you remind her, I'm still waiting for my two hideous squeezy chickens? It's hard work keeping the unemployed mind busy, and I'm sure two fists filled with squeezy rubber hens will certainly help.

C'mon, April. Make a sistah's dream come true. Send the birds. :-)

Hideous squeezy chicken thing. Grotesque, yet fascinating.
Attractive photo from

Actually, one of the chickens is for my sister, Nurse Rachet, who raises laying hens behind her big old farmhouse in the middle of Nowhere, Illinois. Eggs all around! I think she will use her squeezy chicken both for therapy, post- arthritis surgery to fuse her thumb, and as a way of keeping the crazy roosters in check. One of the roosters really, really doesn't like my sister. And he's a fast little bastard, apparently. My sister has the scars to prove it. I'd have had him for dinner by now.

As for mine, it will simply be yet another tasteless item for my home, the Land of Crap, or, as it is known in more sophisticated circles, Chez Merde. So, April, I wait. Patiently. Kinda.

Be sure to visit April's website. Funny woman and very talented, to boot. Everyone in Hollywood should be hiring her to write ads and do cool voiceover work and give her a new radio show. Know those California cheese commercials? ("Great cheese comes from happy cows. Happy cows come from California.") April's the voice of one of the cows, "Diane" (and she produced some of the ads, too.)

Oh heck, seriously - you should just go to the website for April's company Radio Savant and listen to some of the ad spots. Before I knew who she was, I heard a piece on NPR about some of her commercial work (on the radio in my rental car in Burlingame, California, in front of the sadly now defunct California Candy Company, where you could find all the weird old candy and chocolate from your distant childhood.) NPR was tickled with April's ads for Ortho's Fire Ant Killer. I think you will be, too. Check out some of the other clients' ads while you're there. Just follow the pretty blue links...


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