Sunday, December 04, 2005

What if... Volume III

Stick. A. Fork. In. Me.

I am soooo done.

My third foray into time travel cinema turned out to be a Christian family film. At the heart of the movie was the belief that the teaching of morals "without the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ" was useless, and, without Jesus at the heart of everything, the whole world was headed for Hell in a handbasket. A bible scholar from 1890 is sent to the year 2000-ish to see that America is now crap because you can't teach Bible studies in public schools, people at church seem bored, and clothing stores sell dresses that incite lustful feelings in young men. Sigh. I did a lot of fastforwarding, but, after 1 hour of pontificating and posturing and hearing how everyone - regardless of the religion of their birth - needed Jesus, I was feeling a little freaked out. The lack of Jesus in everyone's life, by the way, is blamed for the high divorce rate in America. I guess this means that, if you have Jesus in your life, you might just be willing to ignore domestic violence or cheating or any of that other good stuff, huh?

I should have stopped before the movie started. It had an announcement about contacting the filmmakers if you wanted to show the movie to your church group. It also offered up a website where you could find out about more Jesus-centric movies and noted that this was a "Rich Christiano Film." Rich Christiano. Rich Christian. Get it?

I think this would make a nice Bible Camp movie. But since I'm not a nice Bible Camp girl, it's going back to Netflix. My great time travel extravaganza is over. I'm gonna take a hot shower and read a book.

My brain hurts.

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