...on when the Lord God, Almighty will get tired of Pat Robertson and just make him vanish. Now, Patty Boy claims he can leg-press 2,000 pounds.
Two thousand pounds. Interesting way to try to sell protein shakes to the gullible.
This follows so closely on the heels of Robertson saying that God told him that the U.S. is gonna get whacked by a tsunami, I'm simply overwhelmed with things to say.
But this time, I will let y'all come up with your own witty remarks. There are so many possibilities...
Let 'er rip, kids!
...and he does it using nothing but the jawbone of an ass.
(Actually, my bet would be that the jawbone of that particular ass has done more damage than Samson ever did!)
LOL! So very true!
And here I was thinking he would only reach for 666 lbs so he could say "I bench pressed the Devil for the Lord. I pushed Mephistopheles those 6 inches closer to Heaven. And it pained him, yes it did. I heard him swearing and screaming as my muscles strained to keep him up there. Do you want to beat Beelzebub too? Do you want to bench press for the Lord? My protein shake and the Holy Spirit will give you all the strength you need to do just that! If you order the 20 lbs container today, we’ll send you a “I Bench Press For the Lord” t-shirt. Hurry, supplies are limited. Oooo weeee I feel great after this glorious workout.”
No, no - if you buy the protein shake, you have to get one of those "Lord's Gym" T-shirts - you know, the ones made to look just like the "Gold's Gym" T-shirts until you look more closely. And notice that the picture on the front is of Jesus apparently doing a push-up with a cross on his back.
As long as you're being tacky for God, may as well go all the way!
Well, God TOLD ME that Pat Robertson was going to say both of those things...
Actually, I tried to post this and I abruptly lost my internet connection.
So I think I shouldn't joke around about God telling me things.
I don't think Pat Robertson should either.
Of course if he tries, he'll probably die because 2,000 pounds is FUCKING HEAVY and he is FUCKING OLD.
One can hope.
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