I hate to admit it, but I'm beat. Too tuckered to write. It took me more than two hours to drive to work this morning, thanks to Mutha Nature, and another hour or so to get home (the big delay being right in the heart of downtown DC.) So, I'm having dinner, ironing some work clothes, brushing my teeth, and hitting the sack. I can tell the tale tomorrow. (I will also rant about the U.S. Post Office and its continuing efforts to make me completely insane by never being able to handle my held mail properly. I swear to god, I don't know what the hell is wrong with the Bethesda Post Office.)
Okay. Until I'm rested up, here's a tiny visual sample of the Fest o' the Midwest:
A disturbing Iowa phenomenon. They sell 44-ounce "kups" for your, uh, favorite fluids. (And that's all I'm sayin' for now...)
Belgian draft horses - damn they're huge!
A straw goat greets you at Swedesburg
The American Gothic House
A tiny, rural Air Power Museum
Merujo pays a visit to Krazy Kaplan's Fireworks - buy one, get six free!
More soon. But for now - food, clean teeth, and some solid hours of sleep...
I remember seeing Kum-n-Go in Iowa the last time I drove through there.
I drove 30 miles to the next town for gas just so I didn't have to use a K-n-G. The idea was too grody for words. I mean, who wants to handle their gas pumps? You have no idea where they might have been. And buying snacks makes you wonder about whose sticky fingers have handled your merchandise. No thank you. Blech.
I don't know who the marketing genius/wanker was who thought the phonetic spelling of "come" was a good idea. They either missed the subtler points of such a name because they're brain dead or they have only one thought on their mind: sex. Sticky, kinky, backroom, best-kept-in-your-own-bedroom, sex.
And while it might be nice to ascribe this to sweetness and naivete a la stereotypes of Midwestern folk, that's patronizing and inaccurate. The bonehead (pardon the pun) who came up (pardon that pun, too) with Kum-n-Go is probably some dude who totally knows what he/she was doing and is secretly getting his/her jollies from the idea that everyday 1,000s of people are "kumming" (and going) in rural Iowa.
While I tend to agree with janet's view, I have to say I'm more than a little concerned about the insidious use of the letter K to replace the letter C in Iowa's alphabet. Note the spelling of the fireworks stand: "Krazy Kaplan's." We might want to watch out for more signs of the K-takeover. Keep an eye on that dancing soft drink pitcher in the Kool-Aid ads -- he's my prime suspect.
Damn, Merujo, you just have the BEST smile! I look forward to hearing your adventures and reliving my own treks from Connecticut back to my Illinois hometown.
Post a Comment