Tuesday, January 01, 2008

2008: Now with extra harsh cough and muppety voice!

Yes, indeedy! True to form, I rang in the new year harfing up a lung on the sofa at Chez Merde. This time, the cough is so harsh, it feels like someone is taking a slightly dulled, rusty hacksaw to the back of my throat. Mmm, mmm, good!

Today I had no voice at all (makes me wish we still had AudioBlogger, so you could share my pain) and I slept almost the whole day. Remarkably, considering how little time I actually was conscious, I went through a whole box of tissues and a two liter bucket of diet 7-Up. Honestly, I don't really remember drinking all that (that's what they all say, right, officer?) Unremarkably, I felt like Koko the gorilla was bouncing on my bladder when I finally came to around 7 p.m.

A friend called from the UK - must have been midnight his time. Turns out he's sick as a dog, too, and so we consoled each other on our similar symptoms and tremendous desire for sleep. He told me that I sounded like a Valley Girl. Apparently, my clogged sinuses give me an awful Moon Unit Zappa-esque twang that amuses British people. (Well, at least one British person.)

I finally crawled out to Shoppers Food Hell tonight to get more bubbly clear fluids and chicken soup, and as soon as I got there, I wanted out. That's the fastest grocery run I've ever made. Now, I'm back home, ready for a bowl of soup and a lot more sleep. Thank god this week is vacation. I think my eyeballs are burning out of my head.

And with that lovely thought burned into your imagination, I bid you a fond good night. Welcome, 2008: seriously, it's just gotta get better!

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