Pat Robertson and the Bullet Train to Hell

In honor of Pat Robertson's batshit crazy statement today that the earthquake that has devastated Haiti was the result of a pact with the devil, I present to you this vintage entry from the Church of the Big Sky: some intercepted correspondence from God to his meshugah child, Pat Robertson.

With prayers for the people of Haiti,

Merujo

P.S. Just did a search for all my entries tagged "Pat Robertson." Oh, what an archive!

And so it ends.

It's New Year's Eve.

The sun has not risen, nor have I slept yet. But the last day of a difficult year has begun. I can't say a lot of positive things about 2009, and I look forward to sweeping it out the door tonight.

But for now, it's time to brush my teeth, curl up under a warm blanket and prepare for the wintry mix that will greet the sun as this year - and this decade - winds down.

More words when I have coffee and daylight.

Merry Christmas!

From the resident holi-dork here at the Church of the Big Sky
to each and every one of you fine folks:
I hope you are surrounded with love and joy today.

Be well, and be merry!

Cheers!

A Weather Report from the Bottom of the Stairs

Went out to snap a photo of my balcony lights, but I couldn't get out in from of them -- there's 17 1/2 inches of snow in the yard as of right now, and the snow shows no signs of stopping.

Not so snazzy with the flash on...

And still not so snazzy -- it's 26F outside,
and I had to take off my gloves to take photos.
Shaky, shaky, frozen hands, but you get the idea...

Not such an attractive angle, but proof of life, eh?

I was trying to shoot the gentle yellow light
cast on the pathway across the street.
Too far away for anything good,
but I love the effect of the snow on the image...

Looks like some retro-60's interior design motive, no?

Fuzzy image of the path across the street.
Came out kinda cool and impressionistic.
I like it.

Baby, it's cold outside!

And very, very white...

The forecast last night...

The view from the balcony, around noon today...

The trees are all weighed down...

We have at least 12 inches out here,
and the storm still has hours to go...

No plows have come down my little dead-end. I've seen only two or three folks trudging through the snow. It's blissfully quiet, and, for now, the power is still on. With our forecast revised to keep us in the 20s/30s all week, we'll be sure to keep this for a white Christmas Eve. But, in true DC style, it'll be 47F and raining on Christmas Day. Go figure!

Attention Facebook!

STOP PUTTING OFFENSIVE ADS ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE, OKAY?

Yes, I was just yelling there like a 60-year-old with the caps lock on, and I apologize, but it was done with just cause. Look, I totally get that Facebook data-mines the living shit out of our accounts and then posts what their little advert-bots believe appropriate. But there are limits to my tolerance.

I'm single. I get that. I'm over 40. I get that, too. In response to my demographic, dear Facebook, you keep offering me dating site ads. Over and over and frigging over again. No matter how many times I tap your little button for "uninteresting" (I'm not looking for "rich guys over 40") or "irrelevant" (I'm NOT a single mom looking for a single dad), you keep giving more of the same crap. This is annoying.

The ad that's really pissing me off, though? It's this one:

Wonderful. Just wonderful. Someone scrawls "I Like Larger Women" in the handwriting of a child with carpal tunnel, and that's supposed to encourage me to click and find a man? WTF?

I mean, seriously - WTF?

Here - look at it enlarged. Let's get a good look at the crapvertising:

Because larger women enjoy the company of douchebags
who mouse-write hot pink text in MS Paint!

I have punched the "OFFENSIVE" button for this piece of poop again and again and again, and it keeps showing up.

Guess what, Facebook? It's disrespectful to ignore folks when they point out something that offends - especially when YOU'RE the one who asks if it offends! It is as if to say, "Yes, yes - you claim to be offended, but c'mon, large woman! We think you really DO want this! After all, we've mined your information to verify your fatness and decided that you are such a romantic bottomfeeder, you don't even deserve an ad that tries at all to impress. Instead, here, have an ad that says, 'You clearly don't care. We don't either.' "

Yuck.

Babycakes, I am a larger woman, and, honey, I deserve a lot better than scrawled bullshit on some crappy ad.

C'mon, Facebook. If one of your members clicks on the word "OFFENSIVE" in response to an ad, is it really that tough to make sure that piece of shite doesn't show up again? Hell, do you even vet these ads before they show up? I mean, really.

Sports Stars Who Can't Keep It in Their Pants: the Anagram Edition

There's an online anagram generator that a friend posted to Facebook a couple of months back. Through it, I discovered that the best anagram for my name was "JAIL OR MADNESS." This amused me greatly. Hell, I'm probably bound down one of those routes.

For some reason this morning, I decided to enter Tiger Woods' name into the anagram generator, and I laughed out loud at the result. I swear, this thing is a modern-day Pythia, spouting wisdom from a digital Oracle of Delphi.

Based on the anagram for Mr. Woods, I thought I'd run through the names of other sports stars who (allegedly) have had had problems keeping their genitals between themselves and their spouses. No joke - here's what I got:

Tiger Woods: WORD: IT'S EGO
Michael Jordan: IDOL CAN JAM HER
Kobe Bryant: BETRAY KNOB

And, for the potpourri category bonus points...

Former president William Jefferson Clinton: JILTS NICE WOMEN. IN FOR FALL.

Oh, and Bill, bubba? If the anagram oracle is right, you should never have done that intern.

Hillary Clinton? ONLY I CAN THRILL

She should get that on her business cards. Might help in sticky diplomatic situations...

Reasons Why I Get My Rx Drugs at Target

Bethesda. CVS on Wisconsin Avenue. Sunday night.

Always thought that pharmacist looked a little shady...

Thanks to the Sasquatch for taking this photo for me. I was being a big weenie about stepping down a couple of uneven stairs to get the right angle, so he rescued me.