For the record, I'm not lazy. No sir, not one bit. But I don't see a need to go through a massive amount of solo drudgery to produce a Turkey Day meal for one person. Just like virtually every meat-eating, red-blooded American, I love the smell of turkey cooking - oh hell, yes! But I just don't see the point in messing up the whole kitchen for just me. Also, since my back is still pretty painful, standing in the kitchen all day is not particularly attractive (especially since I no longer have Percocet.) Plus, if you add up the costs of putting together a traditional meal... well, jeez, louise, it's damn expensive.
If fuel wasn't now as expensive as a gallon of milk, I would drive up to New Jersey and harass members of my family. Or I could join very kind friends in Virginia. Sure, I love the camaraderie of sharing the holiday with others, but this year, I actually want some splendid isolation. I am taking the week of Thanksgiving off (it's use or lose vacation time, and I have no $$ to travel anywhere) to write. I want solo time. I need solo time. And since a trip to the Arctic (with access to Marlon Brando and superpowered glass shards) isn't in the cards, my overcrowded living room shall be my Fortress of Solitude. This will be another Just Merujo holiday. And that's very, very cool this year. I can stay in jammies all day, slap rice-filled heat packs on my back, and write to my heart's content.
Even more cool? I'm getting Thanksgiving in a Box from the local Shopper's Food Warehouse. A little lazy? Eh, maybe. But let me tell you -- the lovely 12-pound Butterball bird they gave me two years back was fan-freaking-tastic, and it both fed me leftovers for ages and made a great base for homemade turkey stock. (Reminder: must get cheap freezer containers at the dollar store.)
Here's the deal, fellow DC-area solo travelers (and those bereft of cooking skills): you get a full family meal for $39.99 (you can get a "deluxe" version for $5 more that nabs you classier taters, green bean casserole and an extra pie), and all you have to do is pick it up at the store (you name the pick-up date/time) and reheat stuff at your leisure. You get the following:
10-12 lb. Butterball® Turkey
1 lb. Turkey Giblet Gravy
2 lb. Seasoned Mashed Potatoes
2 lb. Cornbread Dressing
12 oz. Cranberry Relish
12 pk. Butter & Egg Dinner Rolls
8” Pie (Apple or Pumpkin)
The bird (totally tender if my last order is a good example) takes two hours to reheat, filling your home with the super smell of crisping tryptophan without the need to check/recheck/baste/recheck... You get the drill.
I'll have Thanksgiving for days and days and days. It's really quite the bargain (says Sofa Penny Diving Girl.) And no sink full of dishes.
You can order online, arrange your pick-up time, and, voila, you're set.
I'm just hoping the morons upstairs won't be offering me any, uh, "soundtrack" to dine by this year.
If they do, I guess it'll give me an excellent excuse for opening a cheap bottle of Australian red and putting my headphones on...