Sunday, August 23, 2009

One of those dry heave moments

Okay, so the insomnia monster is eating my brain again tonight. It's nowhere near as bad as the summer of 2005 (also known as the "Summer of the Axe" or the "Summer of Someday I'll Look Back on All This and Laugh. Maybe.") That said, the not sleeping at night thing blows.

And here I am, surfing the 'Net. I should be working on the final pieces of a big personal project, but I don't want to get my brain even more revved up than it already is at 2:15 in the blessed a.m. So, I opt for something brainless - the Bubble Spinner game over at eBaum's World. Addictive, mindless, perfect.

Except, tonight (well, this morning, actually) there's an ad on the side of the page.

An ad featuring a body part.

An ad that morphs into another image of said body part.

And I'm not wearing my glasses, and in that first split second, I mistake the body part shown for... well... another body part.

You'll have to cut me some slack - remember my depth perception is shot, and that plus no eyeglasses = horror.

I was so grossed out by what I thought I saw, it actually made me dry heave. I hope that the advertisers - Old Spice - didn't intend for anyone to make the same error.

Because, frankly, a hoo-hah this unkempt would be astounding gross. An unkempt hoo-hah that "rains popcorn"? Even more disgusting:

Enlarge image at your own peril...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. It's an armpit, Merujo, you blind moron! Now that I have my eyeglasses on, I'm painfully well aware that it's an armpit. And yes, had it been the body part I thought it was, it would be terribly misshapen. (And braidable.) And yes, isn't it wonderful that Old Spice is making a product that will save a hairy pit from lots of creepy residue?

Still gross. Still looks like it's raining popcorn.

And honestly, none of your body parts should be doing that.

Happy nightmares, everyone! And if you think of this next time you're at a movie theatre concession stand, you can thank me for saving you a chunk of money and a belly full of carbs.


Chuck said...

OK, I don't know what marketing genius thought up that campaign for Old Spice, but they have just convinced me to NEVER buy any products from Old Spice, EVER. Yuck.
It would be hard to make an ad that is more disgusting.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Oh.dear.GOD! I don't even know what to say.

After starting to watch "The Sweetest Thing", I turned it off during the penis song, because a) I wasn't in the mood for musicals, b) it was just stupid beyond belief and life is too short for stupid movies with penis songs, and c) it confirmed an article I read in the Post yesterday about how Hollywood now caters to immaturity and the serious movie is a relic of the past.

Seems advertising is catering to the lowest common denominator these days, too. *sigh* Makes me glad I'm living in Switzerland, I guess, where the weirdest/grossest thing I've seen to date is an add for a local grocery store that features singing trolls. Ugly buggers, but at least they don't have popcorn popping from the armpits or butts.

Word verification: prurd. Go figure.

Aileen said...

Under no circumstances is that picture a good idea...for any ad...or any body part!

Robin said...

If J.M.'s a prud(e), then so am I.

That is just gross.........

Hope you're getting more sleep now, and no longer heaving.

I won't take a break for dinner now, though; I never really was hungry today and am especially not now!