...to tell you that I accidentally ran over someone's laptop en route to work today.
Some Young Guy (in the DC Young Guy uniform of baggy khakis and baggy white shirt with sloppily tied tie, sunglasses and Rockports) bolted out into traffic in the middle of a block, against a green light. In his efforts to not be hit by us folks who had the light, he started running and threw his open backpack over his shoulder.
Mistake. Big mistake.
I briefly saw the airborne computer as I slammed on the brakes, but it was too late.
I had crushed his brand spankin' new office laptop under my left front tire. Splatsky.
Young Guy had one hand over his mouth, and just kept saying, "Omigod, I'm such an idiot. Omigod, I'm such an idiot!" over and over again. I tried to console him by telling him I'd pretty much done the same thing (flying laptop, not running through traffic) last summer. However, my computer survived - it's just scarred up on the lid pretty badly.
In today's scenario, though, $3K worth of Young Guy's employer's moolah was mooshed by my Ford Escort. I reckon Young Guy learned two lessons today: 1) don't blindly jaywalk through rush hour DC traffic; and 2) if you do jaywalk and run for it, make sure your employer's new $3K laptop is secured in your backpack before you fling it.
One of my colleagues suggested I send him a parcel of NG goodies to cheer him up. In truth, I think I'll pass. Bless his little incautious soul, he was being an idiot, and I'm sure his buddies will be cheering him up with something made of fermented grain later tonight.
I'd like to point out that I have a gift for being in the right lane at the wrong time. I've been hit by other cars twice, just as people in the nearest lane to the offender zoomed by, unscathed. And now, by chance, I've become Vishnette, Destroyer of Portable Technology. Lucky me.
Merujo, Compu-Killer, signing off...