I've retreated to the coffee shop, where I do some of my best writing, for the first time in ages. Within two minutes of arriving, I've:
1. Mistaken a conversation in Polish for Russian and made myself look like a linguistic moron when I asked the two dudes a question po russki;
2. Smacked some guy writing an academic paper about the human genome project in the head with my computer cord;
3. Turned my cafe mocha cup into a dribble glass and poured part of it down the front of my shirt. Yes, I have a drinking problem.
I'm planning on being here for a couple of hours. Let's see how else I can embarrass myself in the next 120 minutes...