...who stole a bag of ice from the 7-11 on Randolph Road in Rockville tonight:
It's not so much that you stole a four-dollar bag of ice, you dumbasses. It's just frozen water, and 7-11 takes bigger hits every single day, I'm sure.
It's the fact that you were drunk, driving around, slurping out of big plastic tumblers of something, after dumping your empty wine bottle in the convenience store trash can. I took a nice photo of it, by the way.
You both looked to be in your early twenties. I bet a crisp new DUI citation - and a conviction for misdemeanor theft - would be a lovely addition to a shelf of college trophies and your old prom pictures. There's a framing shop just up the block from the 7-11, fyi.
Oh - and, it's also the fact that you're too fucking stupid to recognize that you are risking many lives (including your potentially worthless own) by driving like idiots while downing glasses of booze in your car. Yeah, you thought stealing a bag of ice was cute and funny. Bet you didn't plan on the irritating middle-aged woman whose back was fucked up by another dumb-as-shit driver recently taking down your license plate number and giving your description to the Montgomery County police.
In a way, I guess we should all be glad you were brainless enough to engage in petty theft. That gave me the opportunity to help the police locate a drunk driver.
Hope you learn your lesson without anyone dying.
Also, I think you were listening to RATT or Poison. That's a crime right there.