It's a quiet Christmas Eve here. Very quiet. Blissfully, Angry Indian Doctor and his woman aren't making the beast with two backs upstairs - a first for a major holiday this year - so I'm doing my Depeche Mode impression and enjoying the silence.
Truth is, it's a little lonely, but I have a tiny cold I'm still trying to beat into submission with a combination of brothy soups, diet ginger ale and OJ. So, it's all the better I'm on my own tonight. Tomorrow is Jewish Christmas with the Artist Formerly Known as the Atomic Editor and Mrs. Former Atomic Editor. They are taking yours truly, lapsed Catholic, for Brazilian BBQ and a movie. (If you've never had the Brazilian BBQ experience, it's basically an opportunity to eat grilled meat until you explode.)
If I weren't a solo act tonight, I'd go up to see the Christmas lights in Seneca Creek State Park. Sure, they're a little cheesy, but aren't some of the best holiday traditions a little cheesy and steeped in a warm bowl of mental carbohydrates? If I were back in Illinois (and the weather wasn't vile like it currently is in the Midwest) I'd probably be out on the Clark Griswold tour of hideous holiday home lighting with one of my sisters. There are people in my hometown who, year after year, decorate their homes like some nativity whorehouse cum casino. It's terrifying and yet, in some white trash way, so... beautiful.
Then again, y'all know I'm a total sucker for neon, so a ludicrous number of twinkle lights is okay in my book, too.
I'm sure most of you have seen the video of the house that was decked out in lights, choreographed to "Wizards in Winter" by the Trans Siberian Orchestra back in 2004. In case you are one of the three people left on the planet who missed it, here it is:
That dude got a deal with a beer company that used his light show in a TV ad the next year. Of course, now, every geek with an engineering degree (and yes, that dude was an engineer) or access to one of those Light-O-Rama control sets is turning his house into a musical holiday extravaganza, complete with over the top screaming guiiiitars and lots of drums. It starts reminding me of a Spinal Tap concert after I've watched one or two on YouTube.
Somewhere, right now, some guy is in his basement, trying to figure out how he can light up his house next year, all choreographed to Rush music. And somewhere, his wife is spiking her eggnog and praying they'll have to move shortly thereafter.
Of coure, it's not just the guys in the basement of the science building giving everyone holiday seizures. Not be outdone, a town in Texas has choreographed a whole city block of lights to the Carol of the Bells:
But it's the homegrown, "done it myself, Hoss" gee-whiz kids that warm my heart. Aaaand, because this here's Amur'ca, y'all, land of the residential and recreational trailer, I invite you to view the Wizards in Winter Airstream trailer winter light display, complete with pink flamingos:
Every time a trailer lights up for Christmas, an angel gets his wings.
Or one of the Spears girls gets knocked up...
(I get confused sometimes.)
But really, folks, it's all one grandly ridiculous electric cheese log of silliness, but it's fun, too. As long as you're not living next door. Or paying the electric bill. =)
Merry Christmas, friends. May you be blessed with good health, prosperity, and love.