The Perils of Falling Asleep on the Sofa

I was just going to watch Torchwood on BBC America and go to bed. Honest. Just an hour of the bisexual alien hunting hijinks that go down in Cardiff, and then off to bed. (The alien hunters are bisexual, not the aliens. No, wait, at least one of the aliens was bisexual, too - it's definitely one of the most sexually progressive hours of science fiction on TV...)

But then, I had a big blink. The sofa was comfy, the room was warm, and I blinked. For four hours. Yeesh. I've been blinking a lot since I got sick over the holidays. I know conventional wisdom says it takes three weeks to solidify a habit. I think I was illin' long enough to have this habit solidified like a hospital cup of Jell-o. As habits go, it's a bad one, and I have to stop it. I think tonight will help me get over this, though.

It's a little sad when a single, breathing, hotblooded woman falls asleep on Torchwood, despite the dual hotness of the show's lead John Barrowman and guest star James "Spike" Marsters. But that's what I did. (Fun fact: John Barrowman, who is openly gay, was up for the role of Will in "Will and Grace", but producers felt he was "too straight." Go figure.)

I woke up at 4:20 this morning, with BBC America still chugging away on the Trinitron. Problem? It was a rerun of "The Graham Norton Show" and, dear god, an audience member was getting a "back, sack, and crack" waxing. Aiiiiieeee, my eyes!

Let me tell you, there's nothing quite like the wake up call of seeing a stranger having his scrotum stretched and slathered in wax. Ash Wednesday? Lent? The power of religious obligation and unshakeable faith? Fugetaboutit! It's the middle-of-the-night look of anguish on the face of someone having his nether regions depilated on a brightly lit 27-inch screen that's guaranteed to make you change your life.

No more sofa surfing. No more snoozing on the La-Z-Boy. No more waking up at the, uh, crack of doom still dressed for the day.

There's my Lenten sacrifice. No more late night TV leaving me a slug in the living room!

I'm pretty sure Jesus would be pleased.

Unless he's a Graham Norton fan.