Friday, February 22, 2008

This just in...

...Ralph Nader still considering being a vote-splitting douchebag.


Back in the Dark Ages, I had a blog on another service. To be honest, I'm not even sure if that particular purveyor of blogging space is still active. It was cheesy and limited, and I paid for the pleasure of their cheesy, limited service. (Of course, I have to admit, I wrote a lot of cheesy, limited posts back then. Ahem.) I haven't had that account for years, now. Regardless, since nothing ever dies on "teh Internets", I was able to drudge up this entry for you, which I wrote precisely four years ago today. As in, almost to the hour, precisely four years ago today. I was a bit sharper-tongued back then, as you'll see. Come with me, then, if you will, on a trip courtesy of the Wayback Machine.

Sherman? Mr. Peabody? Let's go!

"2004-02-22 - 4:52 p.m.

What if Eleanor Roosevelt could have flown like a B-25?

Or, what if Spartacus had a Piper Cub?

Bonus points to you, if you remember that sketch.

Back in 2000, something almost happened to me, just as the curtain was coming down on a most contentious presidential election. While driving through the Dupont Circle area, a pedestrian bolted out into the street in front of my car. He was jaywalking and clearly not watching what he was doing. I had just achieved "urban cruising speed" - plenty high enough to be lethal, especially if the pedestrian is a skinny, aging fart.

I had to slam on my brakes, and I left a nice line of rubber down the block - I could smell my tires and see a nice bit of smoke. I was really shaken up, and I remember rolling down the window and yelling, "What the hell is wrong with you?!?! I almost killed you!!!" The pedestrian barely turned back to look me, the driver who almost smeared him across 18th Street. But it was then that I saw it was Ralph Nader.

Yep. I was within seconds of squishing Ralph Nader just as the election was finishing up. In the weeks that followed, in the middle of the whole Florida hanging frigging chad crap, and throughout the mess we're mired in today, I have stopped to wonder, every once in a while, where would we be today had I actually creamed Nader?

And now, this stupid putz is running again.

Thanks, f*cker. Split the vote again, a-hole.

If we end up with four more years of Monkey Boy in power because you snarfed up valuable Democratic votes, I will hold you responsible.

Loser. And to think - I'd just had those brakes replaced a week before the near miss. America came this close to a Gore presidency...

Ralph Nader, you suck."

Guess what? Four years later, he still sucks. People, if Nader decides to run again this time, DON'T WASTE YOUR VOTE ON HIM!!

Okay? Okay.

Thus endeth the rant.


Anonymous said...

Each time I xlick on "Mr. Peabody"
I wind up at Amazon. What's up?

Merujo said...

Thanks for letting me know, Wally. That's a bummer! I guess the website with the .wav file is not keen on people doing direct links, alas. They must just shunt people off to Amazon. Well, it was a lovely little clip of Mr. Peabody introducing himself and his boy, Sherman.

Anonymous said...

This is uncanny!!

You are not the only person to have had this experience of barely not nailing Nader on 18th Street, N.W., just before the 2000 election.

I was on my way home heading north on 18th just south of Q Street one night in late October 2000. He got out of a car in the south lane and bolted directly across the street without looking. The slam on my brakes threw me and my passenger toward the windshield, and Nader's right hand seemed to brush the front of my car.

I have been telling my friends since that day that my chance to change the world passed me by.

Unsafe at any speed...

Merujo said...

That is SO weird! Does the guy have a Dupont Circle death wish? Man, we both missed our date with destiny...