Today is my brother's 60th birthday. Hard to believe it. Impossible almost.
He is an ocean away and I can't sing happy birthday to him in person. Instead, I'll be sending him a variety of utterly tasteless birthday cards from someecards.com. Recently, I tried in vain to find a single card there that wouldn't be taken the wrong way, be completely misunderstood, and/or cause endless tears and a lot of bad phone calls from another sibling on her birthday. It wasn't possible. My brother, Air Jordan, on the other hand, will thrive on these. And, when we get a chance to speak on over the weekend, my congratulatory birthday phone call will - as all my calls to my brother do - rapidly devolve into humor that I would kindly call Not Safe For Work.
My brother and his husband are among the finest humans I will ever know. Kind, generous, funny, and simply wonderful men. I'm so sorry I missed their wedding last year, and I'm sorry I'm missing this important birthday, too.
Here's hoping the next milestone I can celebrate with you in person, dear brother. And we can be lewd, crude, and amazingly rude in person.
Until then, you'd better pray I don't find that manila envelope full of blackmail photos the Sasquatch and I culled from Mom's albums. Heh heh heh heh heh...