Sunday, September 24, 2006

Screw the dreaming, how about perchance to sleep?

Can't sleep. I keep trying. This is the fourth night this week I haven't been able to sleep because of the pain from the pressure behind my eye. The eye hurts, it makes my body hurt, I get nauseated, and then I end up with acid reflux-ish results.

I just can't hack this. The sleep deprivation is making me a rather unpleasant soul. I'm trying to remain perky and happy, but being up at 3:15 in the morning causes me to then ponder the late bills, the unpaid bills, uncertainty... I start to worry about upcoming projects at work. Did I finish this? Did I turn in that?

All those cable channels and there's nothing on at this hour. Nada. Nix.

I would kill for some solid sleep. Seriously.

I fell asleep around 11 tonight, but at 11:45, Mr. College-Sports-Luvin' Doctor Dude upstairs got into a fight with his girlfriend/fiancee/live-in shrew (she is fairly vile and humorless when you run into her in the hallway.) The volume kept rising and rising, and she became massively shrill and freaky at a speed I didn't think humans could speak. By the time he got to screaming "Don't you EVER fucking tell me what to do!" and throwing things on the floor, I took the broom and pounded it so hard on the ceiling, I actually chipped my paint. That was the one and only warning I was willing to give before calling the cops. Fortunately, there was total silence upstairs after I finished pounding. Absolute silence. It was blissful.

Maybe the demonic duo continued to fight by furiously writing notes back and forth. Maybe they were repeatedly giving me the silent finger from upstairs. I don't really give a damn. I was just happy to not have to hear the Fishwife of Bethesda and Dr. Sportz Dude bellowing anymore.

These two remind me rather unpleasantly of my former next-door neighbors who used to fight loudly, but then engage in odd makeup rituals. Really odd makeup rituals... like genital shaving in their kitchen. (Even if you won't admit it, you probably want to know how I know this. Ooooh, these walls are thin. Really, really thin.) Remind me to tell y'all about the naked, shaved, keyless Indian woman in the hallway sometime...

Helluva building I live in, I tell ya.

Okay, it's time to try for a little sleep again. Here's hoping...


Heather Meadows said...

Hahaha! Kitchen genital shaving!

That is priceless.

Does the Hindu religion value cleanliness too? I know Muslims like to keep it bare down there...

Cyn said...

So sorry about your pain/insomnia.

I was feeling appropriately upset and concerned for you. But then you had to go and make me laugh out loud with a kitchen shaving story.

If something like that happens again, promise you'll get it on tape. It'd be the best audio post ever!

Anonymous said...


You should put on the eyepatch and the horns and some sort of cloak, with maybe a scythe or something, and go tell them that they need to shut up.

That'll learn 'em.

Janet Kincaid said...

Boy, I know about that insomnia thing and the head starting up and not stopping. It's a bitch!

Your kitchen shaving story reminded me of the sexually prolific couple who used to live in the unit across from me in California. All the bedrooms were on the back of the apartment units and theirs faced mine across the alley. They would have sex at ungodly hours of the night, but not quiet sex. Slap and tickle sex. Sex that caused-the-neighbors-to-talk sex. Sex for days in a row sex.

Finally, it reached a cliimax and one slap too many for all of us. I knew I wasn't alone in having been awakened and I knew I wasn't alone in wishing they'd shut up. After nights of no sleep and not getting any, even vicariously (believe me, you'd think it would be arousing to hear someone else getting it on, but it wasn't. It was just flat out annoying), I finally tromped over to the window, stuck my face against the screen, and, in the middle of their orgasm, yelled, "Shut the F*** UP! We're trying to sleep over here!!"

It worked. Never heard them again. And I became the heroine of the complex. For days after that, I had neighbors who came up to me and asked if I'd been "the one." When I sheepishly confessed that, in fact, it had been me yelling for peace, they each giggled and said, "Thank you!"

spocko said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your lack of sleep. There is a reason sleep deprivation is a torture device!

I had insomnia so bad that I went and saw a special doctor/hypnotherapist that chaged 250 and hour! What did I find out? I was so stressed by my job that I was constantly "on" and never could relax enough to get to sleep.
I was never "home from work".

The sex thing is funny. I also loved Janet's story.
We had angry angry neighbors at one place but they never took it out on each other. The took it out on other people. They just sucked the life out of the building, everyone was afraid of incurring their wrath.