Monday, January 01, 2007

Geriatric Jones!

I'll be damned. Lucas and Spielberg have finally gotten a script they want. Indiana Jones 4 is gonna shoot this year.

Holy crow.

But, it's more than 20 years later... who will the big baddies be? Nazis in hiding in South America? The North Koreans? Stalin? (Wait, he was dead already by '53...)

And how much abuse can Dr. Jones' body take before he breaks a hip?

You throw me the idol, I throw you the cane!

Perhaps he'll find a terrifying cult that rips pulsing pacemakers from the chests of its victims.

Raiders of the Early Bird Dinner Special?

"It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage... No, wait. It is the years. The painful, painful march of the years... And who are you? Somebody get me some macaroni and cheese and Jell-o."

Hmm...

Well, all I can say is, George Lucas - you screw this up like you screwed up the last three Star Wars movies, I may have to come kick yer ass! (And considering my depth perception issues and bad balance, it might take some real effort. And he'll have to stand really, really still.)

6 comments:

Washington Cube said...

Is he THAT hard up for money? Is his ego THAT big?

Janet M. Kincaid said...

Hear, hear, Merujo! I love the Indiana Jones trilogy (well, okay, the first and third ones rocked; the second sucked rocks, so to speak.) But you're right: if Lucas or Spielberg muck this one up, that will be a shame.

As for who the intrepid archeologist chases and is chased by in this one: my vote is for gold-digging Nazis-in-hiding living in Macchu Picchu who are looking for the lost treasure of Cortez so Captain Barbossa can get his ship back and save Jack Sparrow from being eaten by the Kracken.

Anonymous said...

On the other hand, you just may hit him where it hurts even more if he doesn't stand still...

Pirate Twin said...

M, while we're on the subject of George Lucas, can I just say -- his giving millions to the SC film school shouldn't entitle him to ruin the Rose parade with fuckin' stormtroopers.

Anonymous said...

Well, so far he's screwed up the original Star Wars movies, the sequels, and...hmmm....call me pessimistic but I just don't have faith this will be a good one. Harrison Ford was kind of old for "The Fugitive" and that was over ten years ago...he injured his knee during filming and if you look closely you can see lots of examples of "creative limping" going on. We'll see what happens, though if the initial reviews suck, I will *NOT* go to see it. I have rarely been so disappointed in life as I was after watching "The Phantom Menace."

Heather Meadows said...

Do you suppose they'll use CGI to de-age Harrison? Or is this where they introduce the protege?

I'm intrigued by the mention of mysteries. Will this Indiana Jones sit in his chair and outthink the villains, rather than fighting?

I remember back when this movie was first discussed. I thought Harrison was too old then. And as time passed, I figured they just weren't going to do it.

I really don't want to see it. I'm pretty positive it's going to be terrible. But at the same time...I'm just so curious. What are they going to do? How are they going to deal with Harrison's age? Why can't they leave well enough alone?