Momofuku Ando, inventor of ramen noodles, has died at age 95. College students, the functional poor, and stoners across America weep.
No word on whether he'll be dried, heavily salted, and wrapped in a small styrofoam bowl and cellophane for future rehydration.
Hmm... Soylent Ramen... Step aside, Norman Borlaug! I see a Nobel Prize in my future! (Yes, yes, just one more stepping stone on my path to Hell...)
All joking aside, Mr. Ando, I salute you! Your salty carbs kept me going through my whole last semester of college (along with bottomless pots of coffee from the St. Clair Broiler) - and your noodly goodness has served as lunch for me many, many times in recent, financially challenging months.
May your journey into the next life be peaceful. And low in sodium.