Sunday, January 14, 2007

I'm the one who reads your mind

I'm in a springtime frame of mind, thanks to Mother Nature's strange turn here in DC. It's far too warm and rainy for January. And my body and my brain are already feeling like February, March, April... a time of renewal for many people. For me, it's a reminder that I am by myself. There is no Valentine's Day, there is no frisky flinging, no flirty clothes to venture into, no heart to impress. And sometimes, in springtime, the very songs that I adore start to turn my mind all melancholy and painfully wistful.

Case in point, this afternoon, when I found myself listening to one of my very favorite Neil Finn tracks, "Wherever You Are." If you're not a Neil Finn fan... well, heck, kids, why not? I love his voice. I love his turn of phrase. And sometimes, his beautiful songs break my heart. And I sat in my car and listened to the words again and again. And I wished there was someone who felt this way about me, across the miles, across the days and nights. And I felt a loss.



Wherever you are
It's 3 a.m. and I'm awake
Imagine the light
Upon your blue transparent face
Through coloured glass
It filters down to warmest red
Faded...
I'm the one who reads your mind

See my life in your design
True companion at your side
Gracious and good
When all around is turning bad
Restless and brave
When laid upon suburban grass
Your timing is right
Remove the sad persistent thought
Hold the course
I'm the one who reads your mind
Sees my life in your design
True companion at your side
I'll give you something
For when I'm not around
To make you smile
And if you think it then it must be true
If only I could make it through
Climb into my bed
Wherever you are
Wherever you are
Your timing is good
Remove the sad persistent thought
Hold the course
I'm the one who reads your mind
Sees my life in your design
True companion at your side
I'll leave you something for when I'm not around
To make you smile
Outside that wasteland
And if only I could make it through
If you think it then it must be true
Wherever you are

But it's not springtime yet, and I want to hold onto a little winter in my heart yet. Before the loneliness of spring really comes, bearing down with its unbearableness.

I could be a true companion. I would love to see my life in someone else's design. Unfortunately, I think I am destined to be my own designer.

But I don't know the software.

6 comments:

Reya Mellicker said...

You're great at designing the software of your own life. So glad you're on the mend, Merujo! Happy 2007!

Claire said...

The weather is funky. A week ago it was 65, then we actually had snow stick on the ground for the first time this season for a couple days, but then it warmed up again. A few degrees lower today and we'd be in a massive ice/sleet storm but it's only rain right now.

I don't have the cabin fever I usually feel at this time of year. No desperate need to travel to warmer climes. I even feel like if I did, I might miss what piece of winter occurs this year.

Fortunately, I suppose, this all feels very much like post-Valentine weather to me, so I haven't been thinking of that much. Still, it's a month off so who knows?

Aoife O'Meara said...

Maybe you should count yourself lucky that you don't write the software...:-)

sudiegirl said...

When in doubt, use Microsoft Paint.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting this lovely song Merujo, I did enjoy it.

Somehow I think you're gonna make it, that special person will fill your life sometime soon.

I'll keep sending positive thoughts! & I'd sugsest you start playing some more songs that fill you with hope, or that you can sing along to like I do! Esp after a few beers!

near_earth_object

Anonymous said...

I love love love Neil Finn. You just made my day.