Sunday, September 18, 2005

Is the plural of Emmy "Emmies" or "Emmys"?

I think it's "Emmys" even though that makes my brain ache.

Another award show is done. Another Sunday night of me and my ass on the sofa draws to a close.

While I think it would be a hoot to dress up and observe the glamorous drama of a big Hollywood event, I'm afraid I'd want to leave shortly after arriving. It's just too long to sit. I'd be shifting in my seat, feeling my legs go numb, and praying for death. All award shows are too long. Award shows that have Earth, Wind & Fire rewriting the words to "September" are already too long by the opening number.

I did enjoy William Shatner doing the Star Trek theme thing. With Frederica von Stade. Weird.

And I was most happy, indeed, to see "Lost" win for best drama. (Hey, Javier! Lookin' spiffy up there on stage!!) But I was bummed to see Shatner best Terry O'Quinn for Best Supporting Actor/Drama.

First - is "Boston Legal" really a drama? No offense to the show, but it really doesn't cry out drama to me. Plus, Shatner really seems to just be playing himself, honestly. Big, blustery Wm. Shatner.

Terry O'Quinn, on the other hand, is the consummate journeyman character actor. I love seeing him pop up here and there in quality shows, and it was just cool to see him emerge as Locke on "Lost." Great character. Just great. I really look forward to seeing how his story continues. And he gets beat out by William Shatner, gnawing on the scenery as Denny Crane. Oy vey iz mir.

I think the show seemed even longer to me tonight because I had these awful Crest Premium White Strips on my teeth. I had the appalling revelation that my increased coffee consumption over the past few months had turned my teeth something less than white. How bad was it? Let's just say my one visible porcelain crown stands out like a sore thumb. The strips were on sale today at CVS, plus I had a coupon, so I invested in a box.

Which I couldn't open.

Apparently, I'd forgotten that whole "path of least resistance" thing. I didn't notice the nice little flip top lid and, instead, spent five minutes trying to pry the sides open, which only resulted in frustration and a blood blister on one of my fingers. D'oh!

Yes, folks, she's a smart one.

You have to wear these peroxide strips from hell for 30 minutes, twice a day, for 10 days. Ugh. They say you can observe results in as few as three days. If, at the three day mark, my teeth are anywhere near the color of my crown, I'm done. These things taste like crap, make you drool and give you unpleasant tooth and gum sensitivity. Yes, I'm an idiot, but I'll have nice white teeth, right? (Not "Ross Gellar white", but at least not tarnished yellow death teeth...)

And thus endeth another day in paradise.

No comments: