In case I haven't mentioned it before, I'm from Moline, Illinois, self-proclaimed "Farm Implement Capital of the World." One of my colleagues forgot that slogan the other day and said to me, "Isn't Moline's motto 'It could be worse?'" Yikes! I love Moline. I just don't think I'm destined to live there ever again. But now, I think my colleague's version of our slogan might be more apt:
People in Moline are now seeing the Virgin Mary in the I-74 bridge over the Rock River.
The location of this latest foolishness is, more or less, a 2-mile straight shot from the house where I grew up. Just past South Park Mall, right before you get to the airport. If the Virgin is still hanging around when I next go home, I'll be sure to tell you.
Of course, Moline isn't exactly a hoppin' hot spot. By the time I next get back there, the Virgin may have moved from the bridge down to the riverboat casinos in Rock Island or Davenport. Just look for the pious woman in the robes and halo, with a bucket full of nickels in one hand and a complimentary cocktail in the other. (I would make a joke about her being familiar with watered down cocktails, after that whole water-into-wine thing with her kid, but that might be pushing the good taste meter into the red...)
Maybe GoldenPalace.com will try to buy the bridge. They can add it to their collection, along with that decrepit Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich.
Thanks to Fark for this embarassing hometown moment.