I went to Monday night water aerobics yesterday evening. I was toying with skipping the class - not because I don't want to do the exercise. No, in fact, I love it. It's just that the very young woman (barely out of high school, if not still in high school) who teaches Monday nights seems to think she's teaching a teenage dance troupe to perform in the community theater version of "Li'l Abner." Lots of moves that work fine on land, but leave one flailing in the water. I'm asking her name next week, so I can make sure to not sign up for any of her future classes. I still got a workout, but I ache badly rather than feel virtuous.
Interestingly, this is the only class I take that has men in it. It's not a surprise, I guess. Susie Cutesy is the only instructor under 40 and in the "perky 'n' petite" mold. Five 50-something dumpy gents stop jogging and jumping and only bob gently in the water when the teacher is demonstrating high kicks and pelvic thrusts, giving them quite the "crotch action" view. Even with shrinkage and the color water, I think there's a wee bit of water weenie magic going on out there. One of the guys, as god is my witness, was drooling. He even came up and asked me if she taught the other classes I took. When I said, "No, it's a middle-aged woman on Tuesday, and a large African-American woman on Wednesday, but man, their workouts will kick your butt - it's great," he looked depressed. "Oh," he said, "uh, nevermind."
Yucky. Thank god for chlorine.
This same man spends thousands of dollars each year to take cruises to the Caribbean because he likes to "see the fish" but he doesn't know how to swim, so he can only do the "stand in knee deep water while we force a ray to come over here" thing with the kids. I told him to take the adult swim class here. "Seriously," I told him, "you won't regret it. If you continue to go on those trips and don't get in the water to see what's really there, you will regret that."
I have a feeling that, unless nubile perklette is teaching adult swim, he'll be standing in the wading pond for the rest of his life. I'm still cranky that I'm not allowed to learn SCUBA. Dang it.
Ah well. Snorkeling will have to do for me.
Finally got some decent sleep last night, courtesy of Ambien. I woke up with a smile on my face, I swear to god. And, considering the weird ass dreams I had, that's a miracle. I should have woken up screaming and running!
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