Saturday, November 26, 2005

I Scare Myself

I am a complete and utter dork.

(Like that comes as a surprise.)

Yesterday, I had totally forgotten about my commentary running on Metro Connection, and, at about 1:56 in the afternoon, I was in my car, flipping radio stations. I stop on WAMU and - WHAM - I hear my own voice inside the car and nearly drive off the road. Is this stupid? Yes, of course. I mean, a reasonable person would, first of all, have remembered that she was going to be on the radio. And, secondly, she would not be disturbed by the sound of her own voice.

I, however, am not reasonable (it would appear) and, in case I haven't mentioned it before, I utterly loathe the sound of my own voice. It sounds awful to me. Makes me want to crawl under large pillows and howl in pain. Maybe this is not an uncommon phenomenon. But my voice on tapes and on the radio sounds nothing like the tones that rattle around in my increasingly empty head. And so, yesterday, I was so alarmed to hear myself, I nearly drove off the Pike and up onto a sidewalk by Bagel City.

Like I said, I am a dork.

So, today, I'm futzing around in the kitchen, bleaching the counters (it's like an OCD with me now, after the Great Rodent Invasion of '05) and I leave NPR on my little window radio while I wander down the hall to wash my hands. Like a crow to a shiny penny, I get distracted by the computer humming in the hallway and end up checking e-mail, perusing blogs, seeing if anyone's bid on my little set of Armenian Christmas ornaments on eBay (up to $12.50 - whoo-hoo!), and there I sit for far too long. Eventually, I remember the kitchen is still mid-clean and return.

Aaaaand nearly jump through the ceiling when I hear my damn voice again coming from the kitchen window. I forgot about the reply of Metro Connection on Saturday afternoon. And my bizarre sense of timing planted me right at the beginning of my commentary again. This time I listened. Usually, I'm hypercritical of my performance, hearing each overly large, asthmatic-sounding breath and noting where I could have done a better job with both writing and performance. But this time, I ignored my voice, and just enjoyed it.

It's fun doing the radio thing. It's nice to know that, somewhere else, someone is in their car or in their kitchen, listening to your thoughts and ideas. And you hope that at least one person is entertained.

(And you hope they don't have the same shuddering reaction to your voice that you do!)

I still didn't finish the damn kitchen. Best get to that right now.

G'night, y'all.


hoyameb said...

You have a very pleasant voice.

But I too hate the sound of my own voice.

So either this is normal, or we're both dorks.


Claire said...

hey- I just listened to it. Good job! My voice also sounds much cooler in my own head, only rarely sounding the same when recorded. Such is life.

I think I'm glad that when I DJ'd in college it was live, and later in LA my short taped show only had a broadcast radius of a few blocks I didn't live in. Sure I have tapes of some shows, but at least I'm expecting to hear myself if I play them.

What I find most amusing is that my college DJ voice periodically got praised for sexiness, but when I listen to some of those shows now, I just remember I was sick and losing my voice. It's all in the ear of the beholder.

Merujo said...

Hoyameb - I just talked to someone who told me it's incredibly common, so I guess we're not dorks, after all.

Claire - people used to call the embassy in Moscow to hear me do my "sexy phone voice" - including a gay man who worked with me. He said my voice turned him on, which amused both of us to no end.

hoyameb said...

So who was this gay man? did I know him (like I wouldn't have...)

Sasquatch said...

Whenever I listen to tapes of the radio show the Atomic Editor and I did in Minnesota, I always think I sound like Kermit the Frog. Not good...

Cyn said...

You're still better off than I am -- I've heard myself on a radio promo and thought it was one of my colleagues. It took the third listen for me to realize that was my voice.

Which goes to show you how cut off from reality I really am.

If your radio pieces are anywhere near as entertaining as your blog they must be terrific.