Chemical Warfare

Back in the days of the first Gulf War, the Brits developed some nifty inventions to save their soldiers from Saddam's chemical weapons, including a material to protect against nerve gas and other toxic fumes. As happens with many military inventions, these ingenious items were adapted for the general public.

But, Merujo, you may ask - just how could these materials serve the civilian good?

Glad you asked.

General public, meet the fart guard:



You can fart all you want or need, but no one needs to smell it! God bless absorbant charcoal. This will not cover noise, however. You'll have to keep 'em SBD, folks.

Learn more about the miraculous properties of Flat-D (flatulence deodorizer) products here.

I met some Japanese golfers on my last trip back from Thailand who really, really could have used these babies. I never thought five small men could contain such a quantity of putrescent gas... I swear it was almost visible. Nine hour flight. A lifetime of farts.