Attention, April Winchell:
I will have to send out my living, breathing, pecking feathered enforcers to collect my squeezy chickens if you don't send them soon!
And they called him "Da Claw"...
But, damn. Look at the size of that foot. That's a 13-year-old girl holding that enormous bird. This will give you a better idea of the size:
Giant mutant chicken. Rural Illinois, 2005.
No wonder my sister has battle scars from feeding these damn things. Imagine a yard full of 50 or so enormous birds. No thanks. They have eggs coming out of their ears, by the way. If you're near the Quad Cities and want some nice farm fresh eggs, let me know. My sister, Nurse Rachet, will be delighted to meet you.