Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Humor Impaired

I find myself in a less than chipper mood tonight.

There's no reason to write about the events of this evening. Suffice it to say, it reminded me unhappily of my attempt to participate in afterschool softball in junior high. No one wanted the tubby girl on the team. I had no coordination (still don't) and I couldn't throw, catch, or hit the ball. When it was demonstrated that I also couldn't climb over the 6' chain link fence to the field like the other girls, the coach gathered the team together, thinking I couldn't hear them as I walked the long way to the field, and told them that he "had no choice but to take the fat kid on the team." Thus ended my attempts at any organized sport outside of gym class.

Let's just say, tonight, I had a junior high softball moment.

Feel the love.

So, anyone got any great ideas to restore my sense of humor? Leave me a suggestion, win a prize.

I smell like chlorine. I need a shower in a big way.


Anonymous said...

Frankly? I think it must be something in the air... maybe we are being bombarded by an excessive amount of mind altering gamma-rays or other unknown comsmic destructive radiation...

All I know is that something has a lot of people's "Super B*tch" meters soaring off the scale... so needless to say, it hasn't been a stellar week for me either!

Actually, mine began last week - when a handful of people decided to "tell me off" at a message board that I used to frequent - yes, I know - communication barely works in person, what maschotistic fool would think to attempt it online?

Anyway, lesson learned - to continue: said people posted things to me that sounded like they were coming straight out of the mouth of a snotty 12 or 13 year old teenage girl. "Hissy Fit" stuff, completely uncensored garbage just like from the good old Jr. High days.

I was pretty stunned that people in their late 20's and 30's could feel so free and unfettered as to bash a complete stranger and to do it with such enthusiasm and relish.

The worst part of the deal was not knowing how to respond. Me, with all my verbosity, with my handy dandy vocabulary and age weary sarcasm, would I stand there and take it or succinctly and thoroughly tell them off?

I did what I always try to do - I attempted to be polite. Yep, it work just as well as it did for me in Jr. High School - they claimed victory, spit on me and turned and pranced off. While all their groupies cheered, threw confetti and praised them thoroughly for their nastiness.

Still don't know what part of the whole deal to be the most grossed out by... Anytime that I get further data confirming the degradation of the human species it tends to make me somewhat nauseous and well, disappointed.

So whoever upset you, shame on them. I would offer to tell them off for you in superhero like fashion, but I have discovered that "Politeness" is an ineffective superpower...

I will say though, may life catch up with them and serve them up a cold dish of reality.

You know it will.

Merujo said...

What's that Sicilian (and Klingon) saying? Ah yes -- revenger is a dish best served cold.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, the Internet can be an amazing tool, but when it's populated by people who think anonymous junior-high antics are cool, it stinks.

Sounds like we've had very similar experiences recently. Come on over and have a nice cup of tea. I'm sure the mice will wash some mugs out for us... :-)

Merujo said...

Oh hell. I really have to start proofreading before I hit "send."

REVENGE. I have no idea what "revenger" is. Avenger. Revenger. Heh - the Masked Revenger! Getting even with everyone who treated you like crap in junior high!!

I like that.

Anonymous said...

I will take that cup of tea - yes, indeed... I am not frightened by wee little mice! We can recite some Robert Burns poetry as we sip.

Revenge? Revenger? It's all good :)