Nope. Not allergies. I have some sort of bug. Headache, fever, and I think my guts are melting like a Nazi lookin' into the Ark of the Covenant.
I have procured Diet 7-Up. For, as everyone in the United States knows, 7-Up, Campbell's condensed chicken noodle soup and saltines (or, in my case, low sodium not-quite saltines) can cure anything that ails you. I think the woman below might have benefitted from this all-Amur'can regime:
Meet The Sick Woman by Jan Steen, 1665
That's a helluva get up for seeing the doctor. I mean, seriously - gold lame skirt... fur-trimmed jacket? And they say Americans overdress for all the wrong occasions. (Wow. Two Indiana Jones references in one post - a new record!) I'm lucky if I can find sweats and a t-shirt that match to haul my ass over to the doctor.
Now, please note the close up!
What is the deal with this chick? She's apparently really sick, yet she has this twisted little smile going on like she's gettin' off on the doctor's attention. Kinda creepy. Those wacky Dutch Masters. (Love their cigar boxes, though.)
Time to soupify and read a book. That always worked when I was a kid.