Not-so-much foot fun

Ugh. I went to the podiatrist today. I had a lot of questions for him about me pounding away on the treadmill and the types of shoes I wear, etc., etc. He observed the way I walk and stand and decided to do a set of x-rays. (He wanted to make sure that my broken left foot had healed properly.) Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather. He says to me, "Did you wear corrective shoes as a child? Were you a big baby when you were born?" (Where is this going, I think to myself???) Well, it turns out, I have this funky, bad-ass metatarsal drift where my bones curve inward and are slowly migrating to the inside edges of my feet. Freaky, huh?

It's apparently something akin to a birth defect and it happens when you're still a fetus. (Fetus, don't fail me now! Har har har...) People who have this are just a couple of genetic steps away from having club feet. Holy crap, huh? I almost threw up when I saw the x-rays of my feet. The bone structures holding my big toes to my feet are soooo far away from the rest of the toes, it's amazing. Plus, I have developed heel spurs (thanks to having a problem with the plantar nerve a few years back.) My doctor is astounded that I can walk without pain, let alone pound away on the treadmill.

At this point, I have no choice but to wear orthotics in my shoes - at least in my shoes for the gym and probably whatever shoes I'll mostly be wearing to work.

Crap.

But, it's okay, all things being relative. You see, the only other option is, if I don't wear orthotics, I continue to drift and I eventually have to have a very complicated major foot surgery that requires the breaking, repositioning, and setting of the bones in both feet. Holy shit, Batman! I'll wear the orthotics, thank you very much. The doctor said, even with corrective shoes as a kidlet, it probably would have only slowed down this movement, not stopped it.

I wish I'd had my camera with me at the appointment. I would have photographed the x-rays to put up here. I swear, it looks like I have gorilla feet with those weird-ass big toe bones. I should be able to peel bananas with my feet...


Maybe, eventually, I'll have the feet of a macropod. Man, that would be a total bitch trying to find footwear, eh?

The things you learn... I'm going to have foot nightmares tonight. I don't even want to treadmill today, I'm so freaked out about it. Plus, my insurance company doesn't cover orthotics, and they cost $500+. I have no idea where this money is coming from...

Just call me Empty-Pocket Monkey-Foot Merujo.

Sigh.