So, other than the lovely Suze in Canada, no one seems all that keen on my Celebrity Adopt-a-Regular-Joe Program. Brad Pitt has not called. I am crushed. Really.
I guess I'll just have to turn some "specialty tricks" to cover the cost of my reflexology foot massages. That park at 14th & K seems a likely location for business...
Maybe I have to change my angle on celebrity sponsorships. Instead of going the beauty route, perhaps I can appeal to their sense of creativity. I really want to go to the Mid-Atlantic Summer Writers' Conference up at Goucher College in suburban Baltimore. (Goucher, interestingly, recruited me really hard in high school, touting the value of a "women's college education". For all the attention I got from men in college, I might as well have gone to a women's college - or a convent.) I considered going to this conference several years ago, but I couldn't get the time off from my then-employer, warm and fuzzy nonprofit Ill Will. It would have been laughable to ask for the time off from The Evil Dead over the past six years. And now, of course, I'm counting sofa pennies to get the groceries.
But, hey, maybe between now and the conference dates in August I'll get a job, win the lottery, and actually have stories together to be critiqued.
And monkeys will fly out of my ass.
I think it's time to scale back those goals a wee bit. Let's just go with "get a job" and the rest is gravy...
But, if you are a celebrity (or the little guy from the Monopoly set) with $775 just burning a hole in your pocket, there's a wannabe writer here who would make excellent educational use of it...
(If that were to happen, I think I would pass a monkey. Hell, I'd even take pictures and post them...)
If I had the money, I'd give it to you for your conference! You've got some talent, girl. I hope you find a job where you can really use it.
And I hope you win the lottery and get to go the conference too!
Thanks, Angie. Very kind of you. I think the likelihood of my finding a conference sugar daddy or winning the lottery is pretty slim, but I appreciate the thought!
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